Dying Roses, Broken Dreams
by Dawns Heart
Summary: I've noticed in most DA ma fanfics that Alec realizes he loves Max before she realizes it, and she is the one conflicted. What if it was the other way around? Warning: the rating may change
1. Fools error shattered dreams

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to James Cameron and co. yadda, yadda, yadda.

She was gone. He couldn't believe it, even after all this time it caused an ache in his heart. She was gone and it was all his fault.

_/Flashback/ _

_2 months ago_

_Max walked up to Alec, it had been a month since the siege had ended, Terminal City was progressing fine on it's own. Transgenics were being acknowledged as citizens and slowly being accepted by the community. Everything finally seemed to be going on track, but Max had to talk to Alec about something personal. She quickly explained to him that she needed to talk to him later and was it okay is she swung by his apartment that night?_

_Alec agreed and Max walked off. _

_Later that night Max walked into his apartment. She hadn't knocked; she never did and saw no reason to begin that night. Later on she would wish she had at the site that met her eyes. Alec was on the sofa with a leggy blonde partly on top of him, topless, with her hand creeping into his pants. _

_Max cleared her throat. The two spun around and Alec's eyes widened as he remembered their conversation that morning. The girl stared between the two of them, and then removed her hand from Alec's groin, quietly put on her top and slipped out of the apartment. _

_Max just stared at Alec, the irony of the scene she'd just walked in on, and what she wanted to talk about not lost on her. Alec zipped up his fly and, in an attempt to regain his dignity, broke the silence "So, you wanted to talk to me about something Maxie?"_

_She looked him over blonde-brown hair slightly mussed, green eyes panicked and curious, a body to die for, and almost felt her heart break. "Yeah," she softly agreed "I wanted to talk about something personal something to do with you."_

_Max moved away from the doorway and walked over to him, she captured his face in her hands and softly kissed him, kissed him like her life depended on it, and then she pulled away. She looked at him, into his eyes and wanted to cry. His eyes were a stormy green now, clouded with confusion, and blazing with more than a touch of anger. "Max? What the Hell-"_

_She interrupted him, "Alec, I love you." She smiled sadly, as he shook his head in denial. Then she let him go, and walked out the door. "Goodbye" she said it so softly that even as a transgenic he barely heard her._

_Throughout the next week he avoided her, scampering off whenever she went near him, although constantly sending her confused glances. At the end of the week it was only by chance that he heard Mole telling Dix that he couldn't believe she was going either. _

_Alec dropped by her, and Original Cindy's apartment. She had a place in T.C. but stayed here whenever she could. She was hugging OC goodbye outside of the apartment. He caught up to her "Where are you going?" he asked her._

_Max froze the acidic reply she wanted to make on her tongue 'oh, so now you're talking to me?' and instead simply answered "Away." _

"_Away?" Alec's voice was laced with shock and disbelief "Why? T.C. needs you."_

"_T.C. does not need me, and if they do they will be able to contact me. The familiars are gone, they're in hiding, and the transgenics are adjusting just fine. The rest of you can handle what is going on, Alec. Mole, Luke, Dix, Joshue, Kyli, Mel, Vin, and you will do just fine without me for awhile."_

"_But you're our leader!"_

"_Who is going on a sabbatical" she patiently explained. "You guys don't need me, and if you do, you can contact me. Others transgenics however, do. I have no reason to stay."_

_Alec grasped at straws "What about O.C.? Joshua? Gem and little Hope? Sketchy? Are you just going to leave them?"_

"_I can keep in touch with O.C. and occasionally drop by to visit her and T.C.. Joshua understands, and he has responsibilities now, he can take care of himself, and I can keep in touch with him as well. Gem, and her baby Hope? Gem says she's happy to see me doing something for myself, and that if I drop by occasionally and keep in touch she's cool with it. Sketchy has a job as a journalist now to get the truth out, and says I deserve a break, but I better come back to visit. I have no reason to stay." Max repeated._

'_What about me?' Alec inwardly screamed before he pushed that thought down. She hadn't even come to tell him goodbye. "So I guess this is goodbye, huh?"_

"_Yup."_

_He looked at the backpack on her slim shoulders and at her Ninja. "where's the rest of your stuff?"_

"_Cindy will send some of my stuff to me if I decide to settle down anywhere for awhile, but says she refuses to get a new roommate, either I come back or she keeps the apartment to herself. As for the apartment in T.C. Mole, Joshua, Gem, Kyli, Dix, and all the others refuse to let me give it to somebody else. I'm still their leader, and I still have my own place in T.C."_

_Alec couldn't find anything to say. Max smiled softly, and a little bit sadly, up at him "Goodbye, Alec."_

_Still in shock he watched her climb onto her Ninja and drive off. _

_/End of Flashback/_

Alec inwardly cursed at himself. He had let the love of his life walk out of his life thinking she meant nothing to him. Hell! He had let her _walk out_!

Not long after she had left he had slept with a different woman every night, trying to convince himself he felt nothing for her other than the loss of a friend. This worked for about three weeks, until one night when he climaxed and screamed out Max's name.

No one at Terminal City had said anything, although some of Max's closer friends had been noticeably colder towards him. He didn't care. Even with his mask of "I'm always alright" it was obvious that he wasn't, that he was miserable. And it wasn't even like he could get drunk and forget about her, because he was transgenic, his metabolism was too high.

He pictured her in his mind: the soft carnelian lips, the finely boned face, flawless caramel skin, Big doe brown eyes, flashing with anger, with passion, with love, and when she had left, with pain. He pictured her long mahogany hair, barely layered, shining in the sunlight and falling down her back and chest, to slightly obscure her chest. The small slender body that could do so much damage to an opponent, the flat and slender stomach he occasionally glimpsed when she stretched and her shirt rode up. Her presence haunted him.

If he thought she would come back, he would have done anything. Anything to make her come back.

"Max," He softly offered up to the night. "I need you. I'm sorry."


	2. bitterseet return, love hurts

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, except for Kharla, and the ones you don't recognize. Please Don't sue.

Notes: I know the end of the first chapter was sort of dramatic, but I'm setting some stuff up. Please review, I'm new at this and I have to know if this story is good or not. If I don't get 20 reviews by the end of June I'll probably delete the story. There's no point in writing fanfiction if no one reads and enjoys it.

Tires squealed to a halt outside the city of Seattle. The twenty two year old woman surveyed her glimpse of the sector checkpoints and the forests along the road. A smile curved on her full bee stung lips, and her mahogany eyes sparkled as she pushed her dark sunglasses up into her long mahogany hair, to double as a hair band. "Home sweet home."

Tires halted behind her as a van and four motorcycles paused behind her. Another paused beside the first one. She was a brunette, long brown hair with a slight curl to it, and natural blond streaks. She arched an eyebrow at the woman beside her "So are we going to enter this city of yours any time soon?"

Max chuckled, "Damn straight Jondy, damn straight." She glanced back at the others, "Let's go!"

They rode through the gates of Terminal City, as the sentries excitedly reported back to the Headquarters that Max was home. They may be citizens but the transgenics were still an armed force within T.C., and able to mobilize and defend themselves immediately on the off chance that something would happen.

Max pulled up at the Command Center and motioned for the other six people to come inside with her. She had barely taken five steps when a whirlwind rushed her into a hug. Kyli was a transgenic who, like Joshua, had a little too much canine D.N.A. in her except in her it was like a cross between arctic wolf, and Siberian husky. Her long hair and skin were a dead white, with a soft white fur coat that was barely there over her skin. Truthfully her fur only seemed like very soft skin. Her mouth and nose were like Joshua's except the tip of her nose was black, she had sharper teeth as well, and lethal claws on both her hands and feet. Her ears were lightly tipped with fur, and she could survive most cold weather without a jacket, not too mention that she had transhuman speed and strength to boot. She was the head of the medical ward, and the best doctor they had there. Over the time of the siege, she and Max had grown incredibly close until they were almost like sisters. Understandably, Joshua was smitten.

Kyli was in fact, the reason why Max hadn't worried about Joshua when she left. Kyli would take care of him, and he would take care of Kyli.

The others paused behind her, as they watched the two hug. Without a word they all continued back in, towards the others. Kyli was thrilled, her best friend was back. She couldn't even get the words out but Max seemed to understand. Calls of welcome back greeted Max when she walked into the main area of the command center, before she had even gotten past the doorway. A bright smile lit her face as she heard it and called out "It's great to be back!"

Max headed towards Mole, Luke, Dix, and Jimmy. Jimmy was a secretary of sorts to her, he knew absolutely everything there was to know about T.C.: When the supplies were low, and where; who the new arrivals were, what was their designation, where could they put them; what information to relay to whom; when was Max to busy to take all the work, only the very important ones got handed to her while others were distributed; even how they all liked their coffee. Jimmy was X3 and normal looking. Brown hair and eyes, and very tanned skin.

As she reached the four of them, Jimmy jumped up and pulled Max into a hug, "Welcome back" and then the moment was over and he was looking the new arrivals over, "who are you? What's your designation? Your name? What did you excel or specialize in? Do you need an apartment?" all seemed to rush out at once. The Luke, Dix, and Mole all seemed ready to hear them answer Jimmy's question before they and Max began trading news.

Jondy stuck out her hand for Jimmy to shake "Jondy. X5-210. Excelled in medical science, Field Med. and technology. Escaped in '09."

Before any of the others could pause the blonde girl stepped forward to draw attention to herself "Syl. X5-701. Excelled in Surveillance and Strategy. Escaped in '09."

A young man who looked like Max spoke next, "Krit. X5-711. Excelled in Explosives and General Mayhem. Escaped in '09."

Another breathtaking young man stepped forward. Black hair, sparkling sapphire eyes, and a nice strong and lean build, with catlike grace spoke in a quiet tenor "Zane. X5-205. Excelled in Explosives, Mechanics, Technology, and later on Seduction." There he grinned "Escaped in '09."

The next one to speak had fiery red hair that fell in curls around her face and down her back, beautifully complimenting her tanned skin and flashing green eyes. "Kharla. X5- 691. Excelled in Tracking, Escape and Evade, Surveillance, and Computer Tech. Escaped in '09."

Finally the last of the new guys stepped forward, "Zack. X5-599. CO of my unit. Escaped in '09."

Max smiled at the rest of them, as they struggled to close their gaping jaws. "So Jimmy, can you find each of my siblings a place?" He nodded dumbly, and Max turned back to the rest of the dazed group "They can help some transgenics settle into their home areas, get the people there used to transgenics and generate more acceptance among the population. Oh and before I forget," she turned back to Jimmy "Krit and Syl are a couple so you can just find them one apartment combined."

He snapped out of his reverie "Right, yeah, um…follow me." Shaking his head he gestured to the '09 escapees to follow him.

Dix smiled "Welcome back Max, we missed you." Luke nodded his agreement.

"I missed you guys too. Why else did you think I came back?"

Mole grunted "So that's the infamous Zack, huh? Seems a lot more mellow than you mentioned him to be."

Max smiled softly "Yeah, his time as Adam did him some good. Gave him a new perspective on things. He's definitely happier now."

She turned back to the rest of them "Is there anything important going on right now, because I'd sort of like to go back up to my apartment, and sleep in my home tonight." _And avoid Alec_ she silently admitted.

"Yeah, it's all fine." Luke assured her "Go head on up."

She smiled her appreciation at him and left with Kyli. As they neared the exit of Headquarters Kyli turned to Max "It's great to have you back Maxie. I missed you, we all did, especially Joshua. Terminal City just hasn't been the same without you. Joshua will be so thrilled to see his 'little fella' tomorrow night when he gets back from the artists convention in New York, he went to."

"I can't wait" Max admitted, "he's one of the people I missed the most."

Kyli nodded "Well, I have to check up on some patients in the medical ward, goodnight."

Max hugged her "'night."

Max entered her apartment, took off her jacket, pants, and top. When she was only in her tiny little tank and thong, she went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth, then crawled into bed. It could have easily fir two people. Unbidden images of Alec came to her mind, Max nearly groaned. Just one day, was that too much to ask for? One damned day without thinking about him!

It was true she had missed this place. She had left to put some space between her and Alec. To get away from the daily reminder of unreciprocated feelings, feelings which over time had not abated in the slightest but had instead grown. Max sighed, she had come because it hadn't made a difference whether she had been here or there, she thought about him whenever she wasn't completely distracted. At least here there were more distractions, and she at least got to see him, to be a minor part in his life. _Yeah, but you wouldn't be forced to see whatever slut he was doing that night if you were in another state _her traitorous mind whispered. Sadly she knew that she would take whatever scraps of his life he was willing to throw out and share with her. Yup, it was official, love sucks.

Max rarely slept, shark D.N.A. and all that, but she somehow managed it tonight, knowing in some way that she would need it tomorrow. She would need it, because tomorrow she saw Alec.

Alec was furious. **_Ten Hours!_** _She_ had been back in Seattle for ten hours, and no one had thought to tell him about it? What was he, dead meat? Just because they had a falling out before she left didn't mean they weren't still friends. Friends, the word tugged painfully at his heart. If he hadn't been so stupid they could have been so much more than that. He could have had everything he dreamed of, the one person he loved more than anything. But he had blown it. He had realized the truth too late .And now she had probably moved on, he wouldn't blame her. He had been an ass, a jerk, a blind, stupid idiot who was undeserving of her or her love.

He still couldn't comprehend how she could have fallen in love with him of all people. She was the epitome of perfection, literally. And he was the fucked up screw up, who had ruined her life, what was it? Once? Twice? More? Alec wanted to cry when he thought of the pain he had caused her, it ripped him up from the inside.

They hadn't grown closer during the siege. In those ten months they had formed an incredibly deep bond that had frightened him. So when someone had mentioned a comment that fateful night two months ago, he had slammed the shutters of denial over his mind and gotten together with the first bimbo he had seen.

The look on her face as she had seen the two of them together would forever be etched into his memory, yet another time he had caused her pain. Those doe brown eyes filled with pain, and sadness. In an attempt to run from his own feelings he had hurt her so deeply, and yet she had still cared.

Only later had he realized exactly what he'd done, and what he felt, and by then it was too late. She was gone. Alec only realized weeks after she had left what that feeling in his chest, in his stomach meant. He hadn't even felt this way with Rachel. What he had with Rachel had been mild compared to this. His stomach fluttered whenever she got near, his skin felt too hot, he babbled, and said stupid things to get her attention. His heart clenched with worry whenever he thought something bad could happen to her, or clenched with jealousy when he saw her with other men, especially alpha transgenic males. He would die for her in an instant, do anything to stop her from feeling pain, from being hurt. He would do anything to make her happy, anything. And he had thrown it all away, he had thrown the one chance he had to be her mate away on a whim. As if she had meant nothing, as if those eleven months they had spent getting closer, waiting out the siege, integrating transgenics into society after the siege, the late night talks, the confessions, the playful and passionate arguments, had meant nothing. He had let her think that _she_ meant nothing to him, when it couldn't have been farther from the truth.

So, he was going to make it right. He would explain himself, and throw himself at her mercy, whatever she decided, as long as he got to be a part of her life again, any part.

Abruptly he stopped moving. There she was talking to a redhead he didn't recognize and Kyli. She looked as good as he remembered, better even. Her long mahogany hair sparkled in the light, showing off the natural red highlights to her deep brown hair. Her full lips were curled into a smile, as her long graceful hands gestured expressively. Her stance shoed off her nice, tight ass. The redhead said something to her and she turned her head, to stare across the room straight into his hazel eyes. _Max._


	3. open mouth, insert foot

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters you recognize, blah blah woof woof.

Notes: I know the last chapter was a little bit disjointed but it was 1 a.m., and I was supposed to be studying for my math exam when I felt compelled to write it. If any one knows of someone who will beta me, I'd be really grateful. And you guys have convinced me not to delete the story, but I feel I have to warn you that at times it could be awhile before I update, although I will try to update as much as possible.

Candyabble: Thank you so much, it's great to know. I read your story alls fair in love and war, and I loved it. I'll try and update as much as possible, but the likelihood of me updating a lot until about June 20 is unlikely, seeing as my exams go on until then. Luckily I'm getting the two hardest over with in the next couple of days so who knows right? Thank you once again for reviewing.

HoneyX5-452: Thank you so much for your reviews, and for putting me on your favourites list, I hope I won't disappoint you! I probably will find Zack a girl but I'm not sure if it will be Jondy. A couple of other characters will be entering the story later on that you should find interesting. This was originally only going to be only two or three chapters but hen it took on a life of its own, so at the very least it should be interesting.

Aur(Â ): Thank you very much, that's what I like about it too grins. My best friend tells me I love to turn things on their head, I suppose she's sort of right. I won't delete the story, but this is my first fanfiction, and truthfully, I've sort of been known to stop stuff for a while if people don't constantly bug me about it. But I will finish it, even if I don't know exactly where it's going currently.

Kharla whispered to Max "The guy on your far left near the door is checking you out."

Max laughed. "I'm serious!" Kharla exclaimed "Check him out. Even I have to admit he's hot, and I bat for the other team."

Max rolled her eyes and turned to look in the direction Kharla had indicated. She looked and found herself staring into the shocked, sparkling hazel eyes of Alec.

For a second max was speechless he looked even better than she had remembered, up close in person all she wanted to do was run up to him and capture those soft delectable lips. To see his eyes light up at the sight of her. Shaking her head slightly, she let those ideas go.

The irony of the situation was not lost upon her. The one person she was trying to avoid was one of the first people she stumbled across that morning. Hells fire, did fate her? What had she done in her past life? Kill a whole family of Murphy's?

Did he look more stressed? Focusing her eyes she saw that yes there were tiny little stress marks around his mouth and eyes. They were completely unnoticeable unless someone had spent as much time memorising him, and staring at him as she had. What had happened to him? Sex was supposed to relieve stress not cause it, Max reflected bitterly.

She finally became aware of Karla trying to speak to her, when Kharla drove an almost unnoticeable jab of her elbow into her elbow. Unnoticeable, that is, unless you know had a bruise forming in your gut. Max turned to the green eyed girl and managed to get out with a slight bite to it "Attention, duly recaptured. What?"

Kharla frowned slightly at her snappy tone, but let it go after seeing the faint sadness in her sisters eyes "That him?" she asked instead.

"Yeah," Max muttered "That's him."

"Um, Max?" Kharla hesitantly began.

"What?" the brunette irritably snapped.

"Don't look now, but he's coming over."

Max immediately stiffened, "Yup, probably to ask you out. You're new around here, and for all he knows you're easy."

Kharla could here the bitterness in her voice, but she could also detect hidden sadness and pain, in her eyes and in her voice. It was a gut reaction, for Max. Something hurts pretend it isn't there, that it doesn't exist, or get angry at the problem. Sometimes, it was both. From the little Max had told her and Jondy, she had left with barely a goodbye from him, and hadn't even gotten an apology from him for the night she told him she loved him. Damn they had issues!

"I'll see you later." She muttered and scampered off before Alec could reach them. She knew she wouldn't be able to stand seeing him hit on another woman, knowing she could never have him. Seeing him already had brought her both pain and pleasure in equal measure at the same time. On the one hand, she loved him, she had missed him. On the other hand it felt like she had just been stabbed in the gut, and someone had cut her still beating heart out and crushed it beneath their feet. She could never have him.

Alec saw Max race out the door, and hurried out after her, not even sparing a glance for the redhead. He thought he heard her mutter with a touch of surprise in her voice "Seems like she didn't give him enough credit."

He finally caught up to Max on her way back to her permanent apartment to get her Ninja. Feeling uncomfortable and not knowing what to say to the woman whose heart he'd broken he said the safest thing he could, "Hey Max"

The breathtaking beauty beside him shot him an undecipherable look "Hey."

_Well it was better than nothing_, he reassured himself, _at least she was talking to him_. "So," he awkwardly began "Where'd you go?"

"Around" she said vaguely.

He almost winced. It was such a far thing from their former relationship it was almost a joke, except it wasn't funny in the least. They used to be able to talk about anything and everything, _and he had ruined that_, Alec reminded himself, _it was his fault_.

Nevertheless he determinately persevered "So I heard we have a few new people, how'd you meet them?"

He belatedly realized this was the wrong way to put it when she heatedly snapped at him "They are my siblings whom I finally managed to track down, no thanks to Logan, and one of them is taken, while another one is a lesbian so don't even try it!"

"I didn't mean it like that Max." he said quietly as he tried to explain. That he had just been curious as to what she had done while he had beat himself up over the head for missing and messing up his chance with her. He knew how much her siblings meant to her, and it pained him to see the distance between them. There had been a time that she would have come into his apartment at any time of night, and they would have excitedly shared the news, and he would have been the first to know, but not anymore. He felt like he'd been punched in the gut. Hells fire, she'd left the state to get away from him! Or had she?

"Didn't you?"

Okay, make that stabbed in the heart, and then had the knife brutally twisted. They had now reached her Ninja, but he had to know. "Did you leave Seattle because of me Max? Because of that mistake that happened between us?" Bad choice of words he realized as he saw the flare of anger in her eyes at the word mistake. Nevertheless he would have to go with it, words can't be taken back, he had certainly proven that. "Because if it was I'm sor-"

She cut him off in a calm, quiet voice, although he could still see the torrents of emotions moving through her eyes, "Not everything his about you, Alec. And as for that night lets just forget it ever happened, alright? You're right, it was a mistake." And with those touching parting words she hopped onto her Ninja and rode out of there before he could get anything else out to try and undo the damage he seemed to keep causing.

Inwardly groaning he eyed the nearest brick wall and briefly entertained the notion of repeatedly slamming his head against it, but sadly he concluded that it wouldn't help any and simply give him one hell of a headache. And while he did feel he deserved the pain, it would make him more liable to say stupid things and screw up his situation with Max even more.

At the moment it was still possibly salvageable. It would need a lot of intense surgery in the I.C.U. ward, but it was doable. He may not be worthy of her but _damn it,_ that still did not mean he wouldn't try his absolute hardest to get her back!


	4. Help?

Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel, blah, blah, blah…

Notes: Just a short little chapter that I simply had to get off my chest. If anyone has any ideas how he can go about getting Max back let me know.

Thanks again to: JG, Bree, Cora, Alanna84, X5-459, Suenooneus, mel11: Thank you all so much for reviewing.

A reader: Thank you, I only have five more left, but sadly one of them is French, my worst subject. Thank you for reviewing.

Babsibaby: I started to get that impression to, that's actually how this idea first popped into my head.

Candyabble: Why would I kill you? I want to thank you for reviewing! I'm not saying a word, as I still haven't quite figured out yet exactly who he's going to recruit, but I have a glimmer of an idea. Thank you for wishing me good luck on my tests. Math, thank gd is over with, but I have French next. Eep! Hope you enjoy the chapter.

Loisen: I know. It was getting so cliché, so I got out my trusty little keyboard, sat down at my computer, and commenced to hack the cliché into itty bitty bits. However, I must sadly admit that my other story Heat Encounter is sort of cliché, although not in Max is a bitch part. Well, anyways, hope you enjoy. And please, review I need to know what you think of it!

Honey X5-452- I know they are, and I'm sorry that they are, but I try and get them up so you guys have something else to read since I don't have the time to spend hours or something on a chapter. Later on they will probably be longer, but right now they are sadly, probably, going to stay short.

Athena80: Thank you and I'm flattered that you like this story when you normally don't like the way it's going. Don't worry I won't delete the story, but as I already said I won't be able to update as quickly as before. Thanks once again.

Aur: Please do bug me. If not I'm not so certain I can stay determined, I sort of have a bad history. I eventually finish what I start, but it depends on how much people bug me as how long the eventually lasts. Thanks for reviewing.

Mzbhve: thanks for reviewing, I'll try not to.

Does any know someone who could beta this or would anyone like to? Please if you would just let me know, I would really appreciate it. Thanks!

_/But the words get in the way_

_There's so much I want to say_

_But it's locked deep inside and if you look in my eyes,_

_We might fall in love again_

_I won't even start to cry, and before we say goodbye_

_I tried to say "I love you", but the words got in the way_

_I'm trying to say "I love you"_

_But the words get in the way/_

Gloria Estefan's 'When Words Get in the Way'

Alec raced back the way they had come, hoping to catch Kyli and the redhead. He was hoping to gain their assistance in his plan to win Max back. However, knowing females, he reckoned that they would at the very least leave him hanging out to dry for a little while, worrying. That was alright, he couldn't possibly be more nervous than he already was.

He skidded to a stop beside the petite redhead, "Are you Jondy?"

She raised an eyebrow at him, "No." Her voice was as chilly as the arctic wind, but had a faintly southern accent to it (a/n I have no idea where Colorado is, so hopefully it's in the south, and if not, use your imagination). He quickly ran through the list of escape female siblings through his head. Jondy? Apparently not. Syl? No, Max had met her once, apparently she was blonde, and this redheads hair wasn't dyed. Kharla? He gave her a quick professional once over, probable.

"Kharla?" he hazarded again.

"My friends call me Khary," she said.

He flashed her a quick, relieved grin "Khary then-"

She cut him off "I said, my friends call me Khary, but I never said you were my friend."

His mouth dropped open. She enjoyed watching the man who had caused her sister so much pain and heartache, squirm.

He recovered quickly "Alright, well then, Kharla," he was tempted to say one of the many smart-ass comments on his tongue but forcefully bit them down as he reminded himself of this missions objective: getting these women's help, in getting the love of his life back. Women who currently thought he was scum of the earth. A smart ass comment was not going to help with that.

"What happened before was a mistake and idiocy on my part-" Alec hastened to say, desperation for they help colored his voice, and made his voice pick up speed. Convincing people had always been his strong point-

"Tell us something we don't know," Kharla coldly interrupted.

However apparently not with these people when he had hurt their sister. Nevertheless he continued, "and I love her" passion, pain, and love laced his voice as he gave this small declaration. He looked defiantly at the two women. "I want her to be happy, I want to _make_ her happy. I may not be perfect, I've certainly proven that, and I know she deserves perfection, but –still- I want a second chance. I love her, I always will."

_Damn! The man could convince a nun to sleep with him; he was that good with words._ "And what happened before?"" Kharla pressed.

"I was an ass, who tried to deny my feelings. I didn't want to lose the friendship that we had. What can I say? I'm a screw up. But I'm a screw up who loves your sister with all his idiotic heart." Alec gazed beseechingly at the two women.

The two women exchanged glances and declared-

I should just leave it off right here in an awful cliffhanger, but since I feel bad about not updating recently…

"Count us in."


	5. Phoenix Reborn

Disclaimer: Return to previous chapters.

Thanks: To everyone who reviewed. I'm sorry I don't have all your names down this chapter, along with thanks to every one of you, but I'm sort of in a rush. I'm terribly sorry it took so long to update but I've been very busy. I will however try to finish this story, and Heat Encounter by the end of the summer. Ciao, for now, until next time. And **_Please_** review!

X-X-X-X-X

Max sped away on her motorcycle, it was good to be home. Home, it was strange, she had left her home because of a man. She had sworn a long time ago that she would never be controlled by anyone; it was why she had finally convinced Zack to take down Manticore. Her life had been dictated by them even after the escape, always having to hide. However she had left without a second thought because of a _guy_, a guy! Well, she could dwell on her previous stupidity later on, for now she had to go see her home girl.

She parked her ninja right outside of Jampony messenger services. She carefully made sure that the chain attaching her bike to the rack was as tight as possible. Too much time spent with her siblings had ensured that she make it difficult enough so she had time to get out of bed and stop them before they tried to steal a ride on it.

And then she walked into Jampony, only to have a body flung upon her and suddenly hug her. Sketchy pulled away as Original Cindy elbowed him out of the way. "Max, I am so glad you're back! Did you see my latest article?"

Sketchy had convinced the magazine he'd worked for to go pro-transgenic. He had said that being the only magazine without that view, they would have the monopoly of the market and be able to capitalize on peoples interest. When his editor had agreed, Sketchy had managed to get interviews with several transgenics, including Max herself, by sneaking into Terminal City at great risk to his own health, to help not only the transgenic cause, but his transgenic friends. He had also set up interviews with countless soldiers who owed their lives to the young transgenics for helping them out on their missions, and rich people whose children they had saved. Sketchy didn't bother to talk to the relatives of those whom they had assassinated. And step by slow, agonizing atep, they turned the publics opinion around.

Original Cindy meanwhile was squeezing the life out of Max with her hug, as she muttered "I missed you so much boo, so much. It's damn lonely without you in Seattle, even with Sketchy Sketch and Doggy boy over here. You are not leaving for another few months at least! Y'here?"

Max let out a rich throaty laugh as she hugged her boo back. "I hear ya boo, I hear ya loud and clear. I missed you too." Then she gently entangled herself and turned back to Sketchy to give him a brief hug, "Yeah I did, actually. I have to admit it was a shock reading about Brin in the paper, but great job generating sympathy for our cause, going into more detail about the '09 escape. How did you get the details on Brins reindoctrination, 'cause I know I never went into it?"

Sketchy waved the comment aside dismissively, "Someone at T.C." Although she didn't show it, Max knew he meant Alec. Sketchy would never be that dismissive if it wasn't him, he was too proud of doing great work and making a difference to be like that otherwise.

_Alec_, Max felt a sharp pain at her heart at the thought, but quickly pushed it away. The petite brunette had gone away for awhile to give her time to get over him, and if not erect the walls around her heart, necessary to distance herself from him, from the situation, and to protect herself. She wouldn't give in to her desire, to her lo- no, her lust. That was that, she would communicate with him, stop pushing him out of her life, but at the end of the day, there would still be her and Alec, separate. End result one protected heart that was slowly cracking.

Satisfied with her resolve Max turned away to face Normal as he came up to greet her with his usual, exasperated "Missy miss." But this time it was accompanied by a hug which she gladly returned.

Barely two years ago, Max would have choked first rather than hug Normal. But today, after all he had done for them, it not only seemed natural, it seemed right. Normal had run an underground of supplies to Terminal City, sending it with all the messengers willing to help. Medical supplies, food, iodine tablets, electronic equipment, money, even –occasionally- weapons, although they normally tried to take care of that themselves through arms dealers they knew could be trusted. Over time, Normal and Max had grown closer, what with her not being underfoot all the time. They started to understand the other, both being in leadership positions, no matter how drastically different their situation was. And eventually they became friends, of a sort. Although that had meant Max would never go back to working for him!

"Hey Normal."

And then she was pulled away into the Jam Pony crowd. She talked late into the day with Sketchy and Original Cindy, and she felt like she had regained a small part of her life.

X-X-X-X-X

Seeral days later Max walked into her apartment in Terminal City. She had spent the day talking with her non-transgenic friends, and felt happy to have seen them again. Then later that day Max had danced and had fun at the birthday party T.C., Original Cindy, and Sketchy had thrown for her.

Deciding to actually try and sleep for a couple of hours that night, she walked over to her bed. However her bed, was not how she had left it. On her bed was some sort of brightly coloured, paper folded animal. To her shock upon closer inspection she realised that it was a phoenix. Well- more like a peacock-phoenix but nevertheless a phoenix. Around its neck, was some sort of ring. Upon closer inspection this proved to be a phoenix made of coloured glass designed to resemble the fiery colours of the phoenix. It was a ring, the wing tips touched and the tail wrapped around her finger until it just barely reached her knuckle. The ring was surprisingly comfortable, and fit on both her middle and ring fingers on either hand. Eventually deciding to put it on a silver chain she had lying around, Max put it on and wore it as a necklace. Suddenly she noticed that the peacock-phoenix was sitting on a note.

Dutifully Max decided to open the note. Black swirls made with a fountain ink pen bordered the paper, and written in elaborate calligraphy, that cleverly disguised the persons true handwriting, was the message.

_Dear Max,_

_Happy Birthday. _

_Yours Truly,_

_Your Secret Admirer._

In shock Max allowed to slip from her fingers and onto the floor. A secret admirer? _Her?_

Carefully putting the paper phoenix away on her dresser, Max went to sleep with the vague sense that yes, the universe _had_ turned around on its head, and Lydecker _was_ doing the cancan.


	6. Paints and Secrets

Disclaimer: See first chapter.

Notes: Hi, sorry it's been so long, if I still have any readers left, please let me know. I'm so sorry, but I have been crushed by schoolwork. I had heard that this year was more difficult than the previous ones, but this is ridiculous, I barely have a life! Nevertheless, this is not for me to complain, but merely to state that I will not abandon this piece. The updates won't be frequent until January at the least, but I hope to get some done over winter break. Thank you for your patience, and your reviews. I hope you enjoy this chapter, hopefully the next one will be longer.

Jracklesfan77: I will definitely continue this, thanks for the review.

Mzbhve: Thank you for all your help.

Lotamoxie: Sorry, it's updated a little later than planned, but thanks for the encouragement!

Mystic Fayth, Lakergirl08, Synthera, Zuhra, Honeyx5-452, Alan84, Chance32, SequoiaUnderwood, Alec'sAngel494, and I hope I didn't leave anybody out: Thank you all! Sorry it took so long, I hope you enjoy.

A special than you to my beta Serenity Wintirs, this gal is an angel for doing this. Thank you!

X-X-X-X-X

Max woke up at five a.m. the next morning with the feeling that she should remember something. All of a sudden the events of the night before rushed into her mind in a rush. In her rush to get up the brunette practically leapt to her feet. She had no idea who could have sent the mysterious letter, but she wondered if there was any way to reply back.

In light of this new revelation, Max was fully energized. She quickly got out a piece of paper and after a couple moments worth of careful deliberation, began to write.

_To my "secret admirer",_

_How odd it feels to write those words. Surprise leads me to honesty however, when I say I am not in any way looking for a relationship at the moment. Nevertheless if you left me that thoughtful gift perhaps you would be willing to be my friend? We could communicate through e-mail if that's acceptable to you._

_If I may ask however, why a phoenix? What do you mean by it?_

_One last thing, before I end this letter, which I can only hope goes into the right hands… To whomever you are thank you. The letter, and the gifts…they really brightened up my mood. _

_Max Guevera_

With that done, she folded the creamy paper, and put it in an envelope. Using one of the talents she had been born with, the fiery brunette then took an ink pen, and very deliberately drew a large phoenix on the envelope. She then placed it in her window, so the phoenix was facing outwards towards the street. With any luck, whoever had sent this would see this and reply, but for now she would head down to visit with her siblings, and her crew from Terminal City, and when it got later on in the day she would pay a special visit to her god-daughter, Gems' little girl, Liberty.

With a distinctly cat-like grin Max left her apartment feeling better than she had in ages.

X-X-X-X-X

He watched from the shadows as she left her apartment, so caught up in her euphoria she never even noticed him. Then again, he had been trained at Manticore. When he didn't want to be noticed, he generally wasn't noticed. After making sure that she was indeed gone, he went up to her apartment and removed the letter. As he read through it in the shadows of her apartment he felt a grin tug at the corners of his mouth.

He deftly removed a card filled with swirls the color of fire as the border. It was barely the size of an index card, but it would serve his purpose. He borrowed her ink pen and drew a phoenix in the corner of the card, after which he began to write.

When he was finished he surveyed his work with a critical eye, and then deciding he was satisfied, placed the ink pen exactly where he had taken it and pocketed the letter she had left him.

When he left the apartment a minute later, the only thing to testify that he had been there was the missing letter and the note propped up on a pillow rich with her unique scent of honey(? Or honeysuckle?), vanilla and something so distinctly her that it couldn't be defined.

X-X-X-X-X

Max laughed at the antics of the young children. She had agreed to baby-sit Jace's little boy Max, Gem's little girl Liberty, and Kendra/Kenya's –a technological whiz- little girl Flame. She quickly set them up in an empty room in her apartment with paint. She made sure all of them were in ratty old clothes, and that the girls had their hair tied back, before handing over the paintbrushes, the sponges, the balloons filled with paint…and the paint buckets. They then proceeded to have a merry time making a mess of the pristine white room.

Hands and faces quickly became rainbows of paint themselves. When five hours later Jace, Gem, and Kendra came to pick up their little darlings, the children hadn't wanted to leave.

"But I want to stay with Auntie Max!" little Max, who was completely covered from head to toe in paint whined, which brought choruses from the other two children.

Jace never lost a beat however, "That's great, but you have to get cleaned up now. But if you come along quietly, you can come back tomorrow for a few hours."

The little kid turned his beautiful brown eyes on her for confirmation, which she gave with a nod. He stretched out his arms for her to hug him, which she did, wrapping him up in her own multicoloured embrace as she gave his mother a sheepish smile.

"Will we paint again tomorrow Auntie Max?"

"Hmmmm. We'll see. We'll probably do something different, after all we don't want to get too bored of this huh?" she ruffled his sticky hair and gave him an affectionate kiss.

"Okay, G'night Auntie Max."

"Goodnight little Max."

X-X-X-X-X

A couple of hours later Max strode out of the bathroom in her fluffy cream coloured bathrobe after taking a long, hot shower. It had taken several attempts to get the paint completely out of her hair, and even now it still held a more pronounced reddish sheen. She was towel-drying her hair, and had just thrown her towel on the drying rack when she caught sight of the innocent looking note on her pillow that she had missed earlier that day. The inked phoenix in the corner alone was enough to mark who had sent it.

She cautiously approached it before berating herself that she was being silly, upon which she strode forward and snatched up the note. Nevertheless, she held it gently in her hands as she turned on her bedside lamp to read the beautiful calligraphic words.

_Dear Max, _

_I'm not looking to press anything, and if friendship is all you want or are ready for that's fine by me. This is for whatever makes you happy. I would be thrilled to communicate with you in a, shall we say, a simpler manner. My e-mail address is DarkFlamesRiseTrA .com, I look forward to talking with you further. As for the phoenix, ask me another time after we get to know each other better._

_Yours_

Max reread it several times before getting up and starting up her computer. She typed in his e-mail address and added him to her contact list. The next move on the board was his.

X-X-X-X-X

If you want me to tell you who the secret admirer is in the next couple of chapters, or of you just want to guess at who it is please let me know in your reviews. That said, please review!


	7. Friendship?

Disclaimer: See first chapter

Notes: I', so happy my math test got postponed that even though I'm supposed to be doing art and reading a French book, I couldn't resist writing this chapter out and posting it today. Thanks to all of you: calistra, OriginalProxy, Kez, Alana84,

chance32- well you never know, I normally do need prodding to get something finished,

Mystic Fayth- Anything but that! You'll see eventually (starts filing for a fake passport to hide),

adoria- a great suggestion that I might do as I haven't completely made up my mind and as such things are subject to change without notice, but I don't thing I want to open up that can of worms. The Zack in this fic will probably be alone- forever the big brother, the protector. Not everyone is meant for marriage or relationships. Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you continue to enjoy this fic anyways.

X-X-X-X-X

The command center was brimming with activity the next month or so. Max herself was buried under piles of paperwork. She supposed it was a good thing she didn't currently have a boyfriend. With the way these peace treaties with the rest of the world were going, and the amount of paperwork she had she probably wouldn't ever see him unless he disguised himself as a diplomatic agreement or a supplies list.

She normally did without sleep, but even in spite of her incredible genetics in that regard she couldn't help but let her mind wander. And where else to let her mind wander than in the direction of her 'secret admirer'. She wondered who it could be. On top of which this seemed like the perfect way to get over Al-

No. she was not going there, her mind skittered away from the thought as though she'd been burned.

She idly started to doodle on the corner of a supply list. It was pretty small anyways as they wee now virtually self sufficient and most could go out and buy things now that they had peace with the majority of the U.S. and if it was not yet complete acceptance at least it was a start. The diplomatic agreements were mostly for other countries. In fact, Canada had signed a peace treaty with them even before the U.S. had, and had offered them asylum should they need or desire it.

A line here, a line there, darken that section, curve that line… She wondered what he looked like. Would he have dark hair or light or maybe a fiery red? Long or short, or perhaps that slightly messy version that was just a little short of shaggy and always looked bedroom tousled? Would he have full kissable lips? Be tall enough that his build almost seemed to dominate when he kissed her, or short to the point he was her height. Would he have coloured eyes or would they be a twinkling hazel-green shining with mischief and lo-

She broke off that train of thought with a silent curse. He would not have twinkling hazel eyes, or bedroom tousled blond locks, or a deep tenor voice that sent shivers up her spine. Besides, those eyes had never looked at her with love or any emotion deeper than friendship. -Curve that line, make a squiggle, another half sphere, shade in and highlight that spot- And why was she even thinking of kissing her correspondent?

Sure they had begun talking a little under a month ago, and she had started to realize all the great things about him, and it was a _him_- they'd gotten that much straight about him at least. He was funny and nice and smart and insightful, and she realized with a start, he made her want to date. To _try_ again. To be like a phoenix and soar from the ashes of her heart that had gone up in-

"Flames" a deep male voice, cut into her thoughts and startled her into stilling the pencil she'd been doodling with. "Very nicely drawn, beautiful realism that you carried off with a pencil and of a mythological creature no less. Unless I miss my guess, that is a phoenix rising from the ashes." He continued with excitement.

"That's right, what's it to you?" Max asked curiously.

"Nothing," the handsome young man gave her a winsome and slightly sheepish smile, "they're just my favourite creature is all. I originally suggested we name this place Phoenix but most people didn't seem to have quite the same fascination with it as I did. The more decorated and colourful area of Terminal City was named that though. For rising from the ashes of our wretched past to create something beautiful, and wonderful and better than before. Something that won't cause harm to anyone, only joy…and wow I rambled on a lot."

He shot her another dashing grin, "Sorry to bother you, I'm just so interested in myths that given the opportunity my mouth just seems to run away from me."

"No, don't be. It's fascinating." Max exclaimed truthfully. And as he looked at her as if trying to see the truth in her, she found herself studying him as well. Tall, over 6 feet in height, he had Latino blood which just added to his allure.

With eyes as dark as the night sky, and long black hair tied back in a low ponytail, strands of hair which kept escaping to fall into his eyes, and frame his strongly boned face. Aristocratic cheekbones, smooth skin and muscles that glowed with the suns kiss, and full lips completed the image. And that white toothed smile had Max's heart beating just a little faster than normal.

"I'm Miguel." He held out his hand cordially.

"Max." she shook it firmly.

"Max." he repeated to himself as though testing the name out on his tongue. Apparently satisfied he grinned at her.

She waited a moment before asking when it appeared he wasn't going to speak "Were you here to get something?"

He flushed slightly "Actually no. my eyes just got caught by your drawing. I'm actually headed over to ask Luke for some more hot water to my building." He sheepishly handed over the supply list to her. "I should get going then."

"Alright. It was nice meeting you Miguel." She turned back to her truckload of work.

"Oh believe me, Max," he nearly purred her name as he gave her a roguish grin before walking away "the pleasure was all mine."

Meanwhile, as Max contemplated on much more than her work but on her secret admirer, the man she'd just met, and the one who'd broken her heart it was a small miracle she managed to clear a third of her desk by the time night fell.

But over on the other side of the room, unnoticed during the previous conversation, Alec silently growled and inwardly cursed himself for his stupidity. If only he had taken the chance when presented to him, as Jack Sparrow would have said 'if he had been looking for the opportune moment, that was it' and now it was gone. Idiot! He cursed.

Kharla had suggested trying to be her friend first. Friend, right, he could do that. If he started before someone else started dating her and he lost his chance to make them both happy. He didn't know what he would do if he became her friend only to have her start dating again, then again she must have felt the same when he was with all those girls. How many times had she felt like she'd been punched in the gut? Stabbed in the heart? Betrayed?

Again he took a deep breath to calm himself down. Right, friends. He could do that.

X-X-X-X-X

So what did you think? This has not been beta'd as I was in such a rush to get it out. Hope you enjoyed anyways, and please review. Reviews are a writers best friend after all!


	8. The meanings of flowers

Disclaimer: See first chapter. And also the words/poem found later on in this chapter belong to Bette Midler from her song: the rose. And the words: For You, Always. Are from a card I saw on the show Charmed. No offence is intended, please don't sue.

Notes: Thanks to all of you who read and reviewed: calistra, pand, SpiritKez, northernmoon. I tjope you enjoy this chapter. Everybody please read and review!

Mystic Fayth: Run Miguel! Run! Miguel will make a little bit of a nuisance of himself to M/A shippers, but can you really blame him? Max is one incredible person! Don't worry though; this is still an M/A fiction, as I am a huge fan of that pairing. Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Transgenic-girl: Thanks. I just couldn't resist, I'd been watching PotC and how can you not love Jack Sparrow you know? Anyways, thanks for the review and I hope you enjoy the chapter.

Alana84: I know, I can't help it if I'm bad with updating. Thanks for reviewing though, and I hope you enjoy this chapter that hasn't been too long in waiting for an update…right?

X-X-X-X-X

_Are you the one?_

_Who'd share this life with me,_

_Who'd dive into the sea with me,_

_Are you the one?_

_Who's had enough of pain,_

_And doesn't wish to feel the shame, anymore,_

_Are you the one?_

Are you the one?- By: Within Temptation.

X-X-X-X-X

The minutes ticked by for the nervous blond haired transgenic waiting outside apartment number 946. The irony of that apartment number didn't escape Alec, it was the sum of his and his love's barcode numbers together. 452 added to 494 equals 946.

He tried to remind himself to be calm, just be calm…in an unforeseen battle of nerves he was swiftly losing. He could hear Kharla's voice and Jondy's chanting advice in his head, but that wasn't making him feel a whole lot calmer. Who could be imagining what they'd do to him if they got really pissed off? After all, when it all came down to it he was one transgenic male against almost all of the '09 escapees. Not a very comforting thought.

Calm, he would be calm damnit! Calm, and suave, and apologetic. He had almost achieved that serenity too…and then the door opened.

Max looked on in shock at the man leaning languidly against the wall beside her door. One knee up with the foot propped up against the wall at the height of said knee, and a hand in his favourite grey leather jacket with his other one holding something down out of her view behind his angled body.

She fruitlessly tried to ignore how good he looked, how good he smelled. With his hair tousled even more than usual as if he had just been running his hands through it –something he only did when he was nervous- and those clothes moulding to his gorgeous body due to his body's position…

If he noticed her scrutiny he gave no sign of it. Instead he just fixed her with puppy dog hazel-green eyes, that screamed with to many emotions to read when she was trying to avoid his gaze. The gaze from the eyes she had once been able to read so well.

"Max…" his voice trailed off, and he huskily tried again "Can we talk? Privately?" he added when she was about to suggest that this was a perfectly good place. She'd forgotten how well he knew her.

Grudgingly, she moved back a couple of steps and gestured for him to come in. but she never turned her back on him. That would make her vulnerable and she couldn't have that. Not now, not ever again.

He didn't sit down on the couch. And didn't let on how much her lack of trust hurt him, not that he didn't deserve it he was forced to admit. But wasn't that why he was here? Yes, it was.

He brought up the bouquet he'd been hiding behind his back. "What are those?" she asked harshly, "flowers for your new girlfriend?"

The blond transgenic flinched as though he'd been struck. "No." Alec smiled charmingly at the fiery brunette in spite of the pain in his eyes, "These are for you."

He let the smile drop from his face and the pain in his heart shine through after she had taken them from him. "Max… I'm so sorry."

"Flowers don't make everything better Alec."

"No." he agreed quietly. "They don't. But it's a start. I want our friendship back Max. I missed that. I missed…I missed you." He finished hoarsely.

She turned her face away from his. "So why flowers?" she changed the subject, but her message was understood. He had a chance, a small sliver of space back into her life. And he would do nothing wrong this time.

Alec let a smile bloom on his face. He supposed it was time to see if she was still remotely attracted to him, he could normally tell when women were although he had been blind before admittedly. He wouldn't push anything if she was, but it would give him a starting point and allow him to see how much he would have to do.

So, he moved forward with a languid, easy grace, and allowed his hand to briefly caress hers 'by accident' as his hand moved towards the blossoms in her hands. "That's purple hyacinth for an apology. It's a plead for forgiveness." He let his fingers drift over to the pale pink hydrangea "and that's hydrangea. It symbolizes a heartfelt apology. The heather and the alstroemeria symbolize friendship, or my hopes for it at least. As do the" Alec let his fingers briefly caress her wrist as they swept past on their way to the "yellow roses." He finished quietly.

Unseen by her he tucked the jonquil behind a big yellow rose, allowing their similar colors to blend together. That flower was for another time, but he hadn't been able to resist putting it in the bouquet. It was the jonquil that represented his heart and his hope. After all, it represented love….and affection returned.

X-X-X-X-X

It was ten minutes after Alec had left, and she hadn't been able to bring herself to move herself from the couch. They had talked, only talked, for hours after he had come over. It was just like Alec too. She had only intended to give him a tiny sliver, and he had taken out a chunk. It had been only a few hours since she had talked to him again, and she was already falling for the guy again. Damn him.

Kharla's voice ran through her head from a conversation they'd had a couple of days ago. _Maybe you should just give him a chance…after all you were best friends…he must have missed you too if the looks he sends your way are anything to go by…_

Damn Kharla too. For giving her false hope that he could ever feel the same for her. Maybe she'd just see this thing through with the secret admirer…and maybe just maybe with Miguel.

X-X-X-X-X

A couple of months later she came home to her apartment in high spirits. Alec had had leave crash because he had some work he had to start early the next day, but Max had stayed an hour longer living it up with Original Cindy and watching Sketchy get trashed just like she had in the old days, but with some noticeable improvements. Zack had joined them, and loosened up a little. And so had Jondy, Krit, Syl, Zane and Kharla. It was great watching her old family meet her new one. Joshua and the others hadn't been able to make it fro various reasons, and Alec _had_ left early…but still. For once, everything was going well. Kharla and Original Cindy had even begun to date, and were both quite happy with each other. Kharla had even begun to consider moving out of T.C. and in with OC. Well, after her '_work here is done_' whatever that cryptic comment meant. But then, that was Kharla for you.

She and Miguel had also been getting along more. And if he didn't have blond hair and sparkling hazel-green eyes, he was fascinating and he made her laugh. More importantly, he didn't make her cry. Her secret admirer hadn't been online quite as much since Alec had re-entered her life, but maybe she just had less time to go online now what with all her time spent reacquainting herself with her old crush, and meeting a possible new one.

Everyday she grew more convinced that Miguel was her 'secret admirer' but there were times when what he said didn't quite seem right.

The brunette chuckled to herself as she shook her head to rid herself of her fanciful thoughts.

She opened the door to her apartment and continued on to her bedroom. Upon reaching it though, she almost took a step back. Then she realized what it was. It was something from her secret admirer.

Max moved forward and picked up the card. It was definitely from him alright. The card bordered by flames read:

_Some say love it is a river  
that drowns the tender reed  
Some say love it is a razor  
that leaves your soul to bleed_

Some say love it is a hunger  
an endless aching need  
I say love it is a flower  
and you it's only seed

And on the back held loosely in the coloured phoenix's claws and becoming a part of him were the words: _For you, Always._

And in back of the card was a single blossom. One she recognized from a conversation she'd had with Alec a long time ago, before she'd left the city. They were talking about the most romantic flowers and Alec had corrected her on the assumption that the red rose is the most romantic flower. He'd said "_If I really liked somebody, I'd send her an orchid. A really nice one. That's the most romantic flower._" He'd then proceeded to show her a couple of pictures of really pretty orchids.

And on the bed before her was a single breathtaking species of orchid.


	9. Trouble Rising

Disclaimer: See first page

Notes: Sorry for the long wait, I've just been really busy and then I couldn't figure out exactly what to do… Anyways, I hope you enjoy.

Chance32: Well we'll see what happens. I'll give you a hint though – I happen to be a BIG M/A shipper. However, I do tend to let the stories write themselves so…we'll see how it goes. Miguel will unfortunately cause some problems for our favourite pair, but with luck it'll all turn out. Thank you and I hope you aren't too mad at me for the wait.

Mystic Fayth: I'll keep it in mind, and confused is good. It means I'm writing this story right.  Thanks for reviewing!

SpiritKez: I'm torn between those thoughts myself. Hopefully I'll manage to reach a compromise. Thanks for the review!

Calistra: You seem pretty certain. Why? Thanks for the review!

Julie: Thank you. I'm so sorry for the wait! Don't be too mad at me?

Thanks you very much, and sorry for the wait: Transgenic-girl, pand, Dy, Chiisaibunnie, AngelKougaeri, Alana84, a7xvampire, SakuraAkira365, mzbhve.

X-X-X-X-X

_"Cinderella walked upon broken glass  
Sleeping Beauty let a whole lifetime pass  
Love is blood and sweat and tears  
Love means facing all your fears."_

Amy Sky

X-X-X-X-X

Max was supposed to be going over several requests for equipment upgrades, repairs, and –thankfully- for once she had no diplomatic papers to go over. That was a relief however as instead the fiery brunette was miles away from the papers in front of her, lost in her own thoughts. She was so lost that she didn't even hear the man before her calling her name.

"Max? Max?" finally the dark haired transgenic snapped his fingers sharply near her ear. Under most circumstances it wasn't the brightest thing to do to a transgenic (let alone the leader of terminal city), and this time was no exception. No sooner had he finished snapping his fingers than he was face down on the floor with a knee in his back and his shoulder wrenched back. His other arm was trapped somewhere in an uncomfortable position between his body and the floor.

It took a few seconds for Max to recognize the Latino transgenic she had incapacitated, but when she did she immediately got off him. "I'm so sorry, Miguel, are you okay?" The abruptly she switched gears, "Hells fire! You shouldn't do that to people unless you're looking to get hurt!"

"Yeah," Miguel began sheepishly, fighting the impulse to touch the rapidly darkening area around his cheekbone – a souvenir of when he hit the ground. "I realize that. I am now more personally involved with the floor in your office than I ever wanted to be."

"Yeah, well…" Max resisted the urge to wince and avert her eyes. It was his fault after all!

"Anyways, I came here to ask you if you'd like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?" His voice turned it into a question at then end although he tried to make it sound casual.

Max's mind flashed back to the orchid in her room. Would he tell her tomorrow that the phoenix was who he was? "I'd love to. Seven sound good?"

"It sounds great; I'll pick you up at your place."

"Great."

Miguel gave her a goofy grin. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Tomorrow" Max confirmed with a smile, before he walked out of her office. Her thoughts returned persistently to the orchid on her bed, Miguel, and Alec before she forced it away from those distracting items and back to work. Whoever thought leadership would require so much paperwork?

X-X-X

Early next morning she took a walk around the gardens they were beginning in T.C. She did this most mornings as she was often up early as she didn't need that much sleep. Sometimes Alec joined her. "Max!" And apparently today was one of those days.

He jogged up to her, as she waited where she was for him to catch up. "Hey." He said when he caught up to her.

"Hey yourself," she smiled at him. He looked as heartbreakingly gorgeous as usual, with the early morning sun lighting the strands of his hair to make them seem an almost angelic gold. His hazel-green eyes sparkled at her, as he licked his slightly dry yet tantalizing lips before trying to speak again. Max shook her head slightly in an effort to dislodge the voice at the back of her head which reminded her that she was not over him, that she still loved him and always would.

"What's up?"

"Nothing much. Just wanted to check out the vegetable gardens today and see how they're faring. Want to join me?" she cordially invited.

Alec eagerly accepted "Sure."

They walked along in silence for quite a while. They had gardens with ornamental plants, but they also had fruit and vegetable gardens and were walking on remodelling a building to house indoor gardens. They still got their meat and cheese from outside, as well as some exotic foods but they were working steadily towards becoming completely self-sufficient. Alec's voice broke into her thoughts.

"Hey, Max?" he asked casually

"Yeah?"

"You want to go out tonight. A few of us our heading over to check out this new bar, you interested?"

Max felt trapped. Shit, Damn and Blast! Why, tonight of all nights, why! In an effort to ignore that _annoying_ voice at the back of her head that asked why, if she had no feelings for him, was she acting like this when she'd have to tell him she already had plans. She was acting unreasonable and she knew it, but in an effort to justify her actions to herself she reasoned that it was because he knew she had previously – _previously_ damnit!- had feelings for him. Of course it would be awkward.

She opened her mouth a couple of times, but no sound came out. When Alec looked at her strangely and asked gently "Max?" she swallowed and tried again.

"I-I can't tonight Alec." She said hoarsely, although she hoped he didn't notice. True to her luck, of course he did.

"Max, are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help?" Alec stopped her form walking and turned her to face him. He slipped a couple of fingers and lifted her eyes to meet his. "Max?" he insisted gently.

Fighting a losing battle against blushing, Max had no choice but to look into his eyes as she said. "I'm fine Alec. I just," she swallowed "have plans tonight is all."

He dropped his fingers from her chin, "Plans." He repeated flatly, giving no indication to how he felt.

Her back nearly arched, while the other part of her wanted to run and hide and turn her face away, but damnit she had faced down Ames White and she could sure as hell tell a former crush that she was going on a date without acting like a six year old caught with her hand in the cookie jar! With a firm shut up to the part of her brain that insisted she had more than a mere crush on Alec. That she had been in love with him and still was, Max continued "Yes." She restated a little more firmly than before, but less firmly than she would have liked. Why did she feel like she was on shaky ground? "Plans."

She almost missed a hint of sadness, - and what was that something else?- in his eyes as he dropped them away from hers and they resumed their walk. "Oh. Okay."

Nothing more was said as they continued their walk, but Max was left to wonder if it was just her or was there a great deal of awkwardness and hurt between them now?

Meanwhile Alec was kicking himself. He should have acted sooner, and made how he felt known. But it was too soon, and he knew it. She hadn't been ready. Stupid Miguel! He bitterly cursed, Stupid him! He took some comfort as they continued on the path that he wasn't out of the game yet. He had seen the flash of pain in her eyes as she'd told him, and though he didn't ever want to hurt her he took comfort in that she still cared enough to feel hurt and not just embarrassed (or worst indifferent) when telling him she was going on a date. Oh, she hadn't told him it was Miguel but he knew, he just knew when someone was after her, and that guy was!

They reached the end of their walk, and Alec reached out to her a little, "Hey." Max turned to him at his face. "Have a good time tonight." He hesitated and leaned in slightly as if to kiss her on the cheek, but turned away at the last minute. "See you later."

"Later," Max muttered slightly confused after him as he walked away. A small part of her inwardly rejoiced at seeing the caring expression in his eyes before he turned away. Perhaps there was still hope after all? It was a question Max tried to push away from her thoughts.

X-X-X

The doorbell to the apartment rang sending strains of Dante's Prayer through the apartment. Max had had Zane help her rig it up, after she nearly broke the doorbell herself when she heard it's annoying ring for the third time in an hour.

Max walked over and answered the door. Miguel grinned at her and produced a single red rose from behind his back for her. "You look beautiful." He told her.

Max smiled a little self-consciously at her casual black pants, and three-quarter sleeve red v-neck top. She wasn't wearing anything fancy, and the only change in her appearance was the lack of jeans, earrings, and a touch of make-up. She excused herself to put the rose in a small vase of water. She set in a window opposite the orchid, grabbed her leather jacket and they were off.

Miguel said nothing about the orchid and showed no signs of recognizing it. As he led her out of the building, Max was forced to wonder why he had given her a red rose instead of an orchid or a lily especially as she wasn't too fond of roses herself, something she was pretty sure she had mentioned to her 'secret admirer'. If so, she had to fight back the feeling that she was about to make a huge mistake…

X-X-X-X-X

And that's all for now folks. Please tell me what you think of the latest developments in a review. I won't be updating this week as I have too many tests and projects (which I actually should be doing right _now_) but I will try to update on the weekend.

Also, sorry about the major cliffhanger, but it wouldn't be a true chapter story on without at least one _really_ annoying cliffhanger. It had the bad luck to be this chapter. I hope you enjoyed.


	10. Move On

Disclaimer: See first page

Notes: Thanks everyone for reviewing. So, thanks to: Pand, Transgenic-girl, SakuraAkira365, Dazedizzy, Mystic Fayth, RIP MuM i love you so much, Loisen, Ro, calistra,

X-X-X-X-X

_Same old story everyone knows,_

_One heart's holding on,_

_The other one lets go…_

- Unknown

X-X-X-X-X

Miguel took Max to a nice new bar. Max spent over an hour talking to Miguel, with the irritating feeling that something was wrong with this picture. So, after a while she started dropping things into the conversation. Things she had talked about with her secret admirer, but she showed no reaction.

After a couple of hours, they left the new bar. Neither of them noticed a pair of sad hazel eyes watching them from the shadows as they fled from the noise and laughter, and blended into the night.

They had been walking for awhile, and finally they came to the docks. Max finally asked the question that had been on her mind all night, the thing that had first tipped her off that something was wrong. "Why a rose?"

They had been silent for a few minutes and her question had shattered that silence into a million pieces. Not unlike the millions of pieces her heart had shattered into months ago, when she had fled from the city unable to deal with a man's rejection. A man who she had been thinking a lot more about lately. Too much, for someone who was on a date with another man. _He wasn't interested_, she told herself firmly, _it's only fair that I moved on_. But had she really?

She was jolted out of her thoughts by Miguel's voice, smooth and deep, as he answered her question. "It's a romantic gesture isn't it? The red rose. Classic romance."

_But meaningless on a personal level,_ Max protested inwardly. He seemed to sense something of her thoughts as he asked,

"Why? You didn't like it?" he sounded genuinely puzzled and she couldn't think of a reason why her secret admirer would drag something out like this if she was on a date with him. So, she silently admitted to herself, she had made a big mistake.

"Roses aren't exactly my favourite flower." Max replied nonchalantly. She replied like it wasn't a big deal, which in hindsight it wasn't. Hells fire, she could be so dense sometimes!

"Oh, I'm sorry." Miguel replied. "I didn't know."

"That's ok. Don't sweat it." Max faced him kindly.

"Bu-uttt?" Miguel dragged the word out, as he turned to face her.

"But, what?" Max asked with some confusion.

"'But' you have that sound in your voice most people get when they are about to dump someone else, but don't know how to do it without hurting their feelings." Miguel said a little bit sadly.

The sharp tongued brunette almost asked if he'd had so much experience in the matter, but she quickly bit her tongue. She was going to dump him in a way, so she might as well be nice. After all, she actually liked him...just not in a romantic way. She turned to look at him, really look at him. The moonlight shone through the pollution in the air around them to highlight his hair, and cheekbones. His body, hard and lean, was very attractive. And his eyes…his eyes, velvety dark and oh so lovely pleaded with her not to end it.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"What for?" he asked softly. "I've been dumped before. Admittedly, I like you better than I liked anyone else I've dated…but still. I'll survive."

"No, it's just…I thought you were someone else. I wanted to believe that, but _damnit_, I've been so _stupid_! I never meant to hurt you." Her soft doe eyes begged for him to believe her. And he did.

"How could you think I was somebody else?" Miguel asked her with some confusion.

"It's a long complicated story," she waved her arms around emphatically. "That mostly involved me being stupid."

"He-ey." He said softly, as he captured her hands. "You are _not_ stupid."

Looking down into her eyes was a bad mistake, but one Miguel had made. His voice turned huskier as he asked, "Can I kiss you? Just once." He pleaded.

Silently Max nodded, "Okay" she said softly.

He didn't need any encouragement before he leaned down and captured her lips with his own.

Kissing Miguel, was wonderful. Hell, it was amazing. The dark eyes transgenic was a really good kisser, and as she tangled her tongue with his she was glad she had let him kiss her. But as good as he was, and as great as it felt to be held in someone's arms as fire began to speed through her veins, it wasn't right. And no matter how much she wanted to forget, the truth is it wouldn't be fair to him or to her. Because he wasn't who she was looking for.

With that realisation Max slowed down the kiss, and they both tapered off until they were through. "I'm sorry." Max said helplessly. Nothing she said, was going to make him feel any better.

"No, I'm sorry." Miguel said. "Well, not for the kiss…" he grinned as she chuckled. "The kiss was amazing, I am _not_ sorry for the kiss." The transgenic was emphatic about that point, "But I am sorry I'm not the one you're looking for, or the one you need." Miguel finished softly.

Max's chuckles died out. They went home, and Miguel saw her to her apartment door. She opened the door, and Miguel stopped her. He gently kissed her lips in what could only be considered a romantic goodbye. "Take care. I'll see you around."

"See you Miguel." She replied softly before going in and closing her apartment door.

Max walked in, and headed for her room before changing course midway. Abruptly she turned away and powered up her computer. She sent an e-mail to DarkFlamesRise, and then turned off her computer.

Later that night as she stared out of the window in her room, letting the moonlight lull her to sleep she thought over the message she had left for her secret admirer whoever he may be. '_I want to meet._' She had written. For better or for worse, Max thought, she would know who her admirer was soon.

X-X-X-X-X

AHHHH! Dodges the rotten fruit thrown Please don't be mad. I'll try and update soon. Grins winningly Please review?


	11. Surprise, surprise

Disclaimer: See first page

Notes: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I've finally hit a hundred reviews! Okay I'm going to be out of town this weekend, and I won't have much time before then so I'm posting this (much shorter than others) chapter now. It might take all the way until the end of next week for me to update. I'm really sorry, but school work (as boring as it can be) comes first.

That said, thanks so much: SakuraAkira365, chance32, Dazedizzy, jracklesfan77, Mystic Fayth, Pand, mzbhve, Loisen, AngelKougaeri, calistra, falsememorydamnpixies.

X-X-X-X-X

_"Unless it's mad, passionate, Extraordinary love, It's a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life Love shouldn't be one of them." _

- Movie: Dream for an Insomniac

X-X-X-X-X

He silently reread through the message again in his head. She wanted to meet him. That either meant the date had gone really well, or really badly. Personally the transgenic was hoping for the latter, because that would mean fewer problems for him when she found out.

Truthfully, he had been planning to tell her a different way at a different time, but she had been quite insistent on meeting so they had set up a place and time and now…now he was counting down the hours until zero hour.

X-X-X-X-X

Max waited at the spot for her secret admirer to show up. They had agreed on this park, five minutes from now. She wasn't sure whether she was nervous or scared or…whatever. She was no emotions analyst. All she knew was that she was waiting for him to show up, and she wasn't sure what to expect…or what she wanted.

X-X-X-X-X

He had been watching her from the trees for the past ten minutes. Could anybody blame him? He was nervous, but who could blame him? She was all he wanted and he was…stalling. Okay, fine, he was stalling. Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, the transgenic made his way out of the trees.

X-X-X-X-X

"Hey." A deep voice said from behind her.

Max whirled around so fast she almost got whiplash. She knew that voice! Her mouth dropped open as repressed emotions started cramming themselves in faster than she could handle them, let alone make sense of them… only one startled syllable made its' way through her lips…

"Zach?"

X-X-X-X-X

Aaahhhhh! Ducks behind a large boulder and huddles protectively in fruit splattered protective gear. Don't kill me? All will be explained in the next chapter… Promise? grins uncertainly Ummm…please review?


	12. what the hell?

Disclaimer: See first chapter

Notes: Sorry, so very sorry for not updating sooner. It doesn't have many more chapters left. I'm really sorry, but I've either been studying, taking exams, working, away (very far away) from computer access (as in another country), and overall I've just been soooo busy. When I had time to write, then the writing didn't sound quite right, so…yeah…I'm really, really sorry for the long time without an update. This chapter is a little short, but I needed to get an update out so, please enjoy.

Also, anybody who is confused, that's alright. You definitely should be, and you won't be for too much longer.

That said, thanks to all those who reviewed, it is appreciated so much. So that would be thanks to: Pand, chance32, Mystic Fayth, mzbhve, SakuraAkira365, Loisen, Transgenic-girl, AngelKougaeri, falsememorydamnpixies, a7xvampire, MeryKey-7, Silverwolf 2006, SpiritKez, Naomi, emily (), Alana84, StealerOfDreams.

X-X-X-X-X

"Zach!" shock would be mild compared to what Max was feeling at the moment. How…how could this be? He was neither the one she'd thought she would see, nor the one she secretly wanted to see – though she would never, ever admit it, not even to herself - but knew could never be. Despite all of that however, this…this really felt like getting hit by a hundred ton truck.

Zach grinned, "So what are you doing?"

Well…that didn't make much sense for a guy who was supposed to meet her here. So of course she managed to explain her confusion through a very intellectual, "Huh?"

"Well," the man she thought of as a brother explained as if to a small child, "You're in a clearing, by yourself, and if you're not doing anything I thought I'd offer you to come play a football game with me and a few other transgenics."

"How'd you find me here?" the leader of T.C. slowly caught on.

"Oh, I was just walking by and I spotted my little sis. Thought I'd drop in, say hi, place an offer… You're meeting someone though right? I mean" he elaborated with a languid wave of his hand "from the looks of it, now that I think about it you seem to be. So…no football game?"

The overwhelming feeling of relief, translated into a brilliant smile towards her brother. "Another time. Tell the gang I say 'hi'."

"Will do." Zach affably agreed, for once oblivious to someone watching him from among the shadows.

They chatted for a couple more minutes, then Zach took his leave after stealing a quick hug from his sister.

Max waited until she was sure he was out of earshot, and then quietly called out to the pair of eyes she could feel watching her every movement. "this has gone on long enough. Come out."

Max turned to face the graceful figure emerging from the shadows only to have her heart stop, at the sight of someone who was, if possible, even more improbable to see than Zach.

X-X-X-X-X

At least avoid the rotten tomatoes please? It's impossible to get rid of the damn stains… Please review, and once again I'm sorry for the long wait. Thanks for reading!


	13. Fear of the Unknown

Disclaimer: See first page.

Notes: I am sooo sorry for not updating sooner. It's honestly been impossible. This past week alone I had four tests (including chemistry (which was exam length) and Math). Now that I only have a paper to write and a painting to create I can write. Although, I feel it's only fair to warn you that I'll be gone for almost all of April. If it's not out in the first week of April, it's only going to be out in May for which I apologize profusely, but it's graduating year, and I'm involved in a lot of extracurricular and volunteer work so making time is difficult.

I'm very sorry for the wait, but I thank you all for your lovely ad encouraging reviews. I ask you all to please review, and if you refrain from attempting to throw rotten food at me, I'll give you a cookie. ;D

X-X-X-X-X

"I've been trying not to love you; I've been putting up a fight. I've been barely holding on, and letting go with all my might. There's a part of me that's empty, I know only love can fill. I'm afraid I'll never fill it, and scared to death I will." - Unknown

X-X-X-X-X

Max couldn't move. Was she tranquilized? Paralyzed? She couldn't feel her legs…was she even breathing? This…this simply wasn't _possible_!

"Hey, Max." his voice was low and husky. Smooth honeyed tones washing over her like sunshine. Hazel-green eyes twinkled towards her, out of a breathtaking face filled with familiar cherished features. Golden hair reflected the sunlight that seemed to glow on his skin. Still a quiet voice whispered insidiously within her mind, that sunshine always casts a shadow…

Perhaps, this was a joke? A trick?

"Max?" His voice was a little worried now, although she didn't even notice it.

Maybe he'd simply missed her company. Nevertheless, that didn't excuse this… _game_! It was her _heart_, damnit! How many times did he need to break it?

"MAX?"

This wasn't possible. He'd rejected her. This wasn't real. HE'D REJECTED HER!

"Get away from me!" the brunette hissed in righteous indignation. "Is this some kind of game to you?! See how many times you can break a woman's heart? Well congratulations, _darling_."

"No, no, no. You've got it all wrong-" his protests were drowned out by her fury.

"Tell me something, would you? How many times can you shatter a heart until the pieces won't shatter any longer, hmmm? Do you know that?"

"Max…" his voice was a well of angst that a girl could drown in…if she let herself, that is.

"Because…because maybe then it'll stop hurting. When there's nothing left to break, I guess you don't even notice right?" her voice cracked.

"Max." she didn't allow herself to hear the pleading note in his voice. She couldn't.

"Goodbye Alec."

And so Max ran. She ran away from the hope that she could be lifted out of the darkness she had settled into. She ran as far as she could, because sometimes the most painful thing in the world is hope. With that hope, comes the fear that it will eventually be crushed or taken away. So, it's much easier to shatter before it begins, before you're forcefully thrown back to the darkness which feels even colder than the first time, after you've lost that warmth. It's much easier to stay in the cold, than to risk being warm and having to acclimatize yourself to the cold again once the warmth is brutally ripped from your grasp.

It was because of this fear that Max ran. She ran hard, and she ran fast, away from the only man she ever loved…or ever would.

Max left two broken hearts due to her fear, but stubbornness is a powerful thing. And stubbornness combined with hope is explosive. It's all powerful, you see, because it never gives up. Eventually it can wear away at even the most tormented despair.

Alec had that hope. This hazel-eyed youth clung to that hope that rivalled the determination of the most ancient stone. This was because while Max had been shocked and in pain, she had never told him not to follow her. She had never thought of it as a possibility that he would even want to. She really should have forever, because follow her he would.

Max had no idea what was coming towards her now that he no longer had to hide in secrecy. Not a damn clue.


End file.
